I'm pretty modest, but you'd never know it from the way I breastfeed in public. It's not that I'm super-comfortable with my body. (I'm still a work-in-progress in that department, even when it comes to breastfeeding.) Instead, I believe that one of the best ways to counteract our cultural nipple-phobia is to breastfeed like it's no big deal—without a nursing cover, "over-the-collar" if necessary, whenever and wherever my baby is hungry.
And Westley's classmates have noticed. A few kids in particular are not at all shy about coming right up and cooing over the baby while she's happily sucking away. Yesterday, one of the little girls sidled up to me after the class sang their "Good-bye Song." She studied Ivy, and then looked up at me with question-mark eyes.
"She's eating," I explained.
"Why is she eating your boob?"
"She's drinking milk from my breast. That's where the milk comes out. It's the perfect food for her."
The little girl thought about this for a minute, and then ran off to join the kids who were staying after school to play on the playground.
I scanned the group of parents who were standing around chatting, curious to see if the girl's mother had noticed our little interaction. She hadn't. I wanted to shout, "Hey, how come your almost-five-year-old doesn't know about breastmilk?" I didn't. People—especially mothers—have varied and often emotional relationships to breastfeeding, which makes it a subject I'm unlikely to discuss with adults I don't know well.
But if kids come to me with questions, I'm going to tell them the truth.
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10 comments:
Yes! It's so important for kids to see breastfeeding for exactly what it is - a normal thing that moms and babies do.
Some friends of ours just had a baby and we saw her a couple of days ago, and Julian came home and told me, "I saw her boob a little. She was feeding the baby. But it's not a big deal, because you used to do that all the time with Audrey, remember?" Yeah. I remember.
BRAVO!!!
Wonderful! :)
i love this. spontaneous teachings like this are some of the most important lessons we all learn. {and during national breastfeeding week in canada to boot!}
also, i love that little retro sesame street video - i wonder if they still show breastfeeding mamas on that program with the same attention?
I have been nursing more and more 'without my cover' -- I don't mind breastfeeding with a cover (like when she was very little, I think she preferred being snuggled up close under a light blanket if we were in a bright or wide open space and it felt more intimate) but lately as Hope is getting older (5 months) she pushes it away and grabs at it so I just take it off.
Whatever FEELS more natural is what I go with. And it's funny, because at her daycare when I come to feed her at lunch, they offer me a cover, and I'm like "No thanks". I mean, why on earth would I need to cover up in front of a bunch of babies and a daycare provider?
I have to say though, I don't think it's that odd that a 4 year old wouldn't know about breastfeeding. If that little girl doesn't have a sibling, the topic might not have come up. My son doesn't remember breastfeeding and it didn't occur to me to teach him what it was before I had his sister. Now he knows about it and understands it and it's no big deal. (I've even offered him some milk, ha ha, but he's like NO WAY) -- I mean, where does that come from?!!
I remember in my breastfeeding stint with Jack, explaining to my ex-husband's nephew what I was doing when he looked at me in the awkward way only a seven year-old boy would look at a mother breastfeeding her baby.
But I remember feeling happy about it. As many minds as you can get to understand what's going on and more importantly WHY it's going on, the better.
If I was that little girl's mother, I'd slap your face. Its not up to you to "educate" anyone's child about breastfeeding. Just feed your baby and shut the hell up.
I totally agree with the other anonymous commenter. It's not your place to tell another persons child about breastfeeding. I'd slap you for having your tit out in front of my child. Not appropriate. Yes, I breastfeed my baby, but I also don't feel the need to discuss it with everyone. Feed your kid, move on and shut up about it.
Dang. Anonymous haters gonna hate.
Why is it such a big deal to educate the world that you have chosen to do what you believe is the best option for your child? Why would you need to be an exhibitionist to make your choice such a big deal?
You feed your child the way you feel is the best way.
I happen to agree that breastfeeding is amazing, and breast fed 4 of my children.
I just fed my 7 week old her bottle of formula.
Guess what? She's thriving, happy and healthy. (and sleeps through the night!!!)
Wanna judge me and say something snarky?
Go for it...you wouldn't be the first to tell me off.
The funny thing is..she's my foster daughter.
I have been rudely educated by 3 people now, twice at the doc office and once in a restaurant, and three times I have nicely smiled at them and said, 'Thank you for sharing'
Ignorance such as theirs does not deserve to know that this child is not even biologically mine.
My friend lost both breasts to a mastectomy...she has had to endure the nasty looks and comments too.
People, we all need to choose our own level of 'best'.
Apparently Volvo has the safest vehicles.
I can't afford a Volvo.
We bought the safest vehicle we could afford, but it is not as safe in the ratings as the Volvo.
We do the best we can, and we do NOT judge those around us who have multiple reasons for doing what they are doing.
And please:
1. Do not suggest that I take hormones to produce breastmilk. I cannot be exchanging saliva with these darling babies who through no fault of their own have had high risk lifestyles.
2. I will not go to a milk bank as there is not one near me, nor are they regulated enough in my opinion to be safe.
I am so sad that it is moms such as you that have created this atmosphere of WAR around this issue. Live and let live. Trust me, a parent can do much worse than not breastfeed a child. Believe me.
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