A few nights ago, Rob and I were lying in bed, disagreeing about what to name our fetus. Finally, I gave up. "That's it. We'll just name him after that kid we knew in high school." Of course, Rob and I didn't go to high school together, but he enjoyed the Back to the Future reference.
I'm a big fan of Back to the Future—or at least I was until this most recent viewing, when it really hit me how wrong this movie is. There is so much wrong! It's astounding, really.
A quick search of the Internet reassured me that I wasn't the only who'd noticed the horror: the racism, Biff's baffling transition from rapist in 1955 to jolly butler in 1985, Marty's apparent (to everyone else) insanity at the end of the film, when his memories don't match those of his entire family. I was both relieved and disappointed to discover that the folks at Cracked had already made all of the points I was going to make in this post. But they did theirs in video form.
[Why 'Back to the Future' Is Secretly Horrifying — thanks to Cracked.com] I want to forgive Back to the Future for its awfulness because the premise is just so good. An honest-to-goodness mad scientist makes a time machine that sends a teenager back to 1955 where he interferes with his parents meeting, and if he doesn't get them together, he'll cease to exist. That sounds like an awesome movie! And it would be, except that the creepy things about it are just so creepy. I'm really having trouble getting past the rapist-turned-houseman thing. I mean, I had some guys do some not-so-nice things to me in high school, and I wouldn't want them waxing my car now. Back to the Future's biggest redeeming feature is its cast. Christopher Lloyd is Doc Brown as far as I'm concerned. I have trouble seeing him in anything else, because Doc Brown is so cool, and I just want Christopher Lloyd to be Doc Brown all the time. I can't imagine anyone making George McFly as simultaneously bumbling and adorable as Crispin Glover does. But I especially love Lea Thompson as Lorraine. She's oddly vampy in places, like Marlene Dietrich in a Peter Pan collar and bobby socks.